In the last segment we discovered that men have been found to be more likely to die by suicide than women.” It was also mentioned that a man may feel conflicted because of the stigma that pervades families, neighborhoods, cities, states, and country in regard to mental health and men. We are told to “be strong”, “be the rocks of our family.” When everyone is going through we have the burden of “holding it together.” It’s not just the family that we are stabilize. No, we are supposed to hold ourselves together, even in the midst of our own insufficiencies. In case you are wondering, why the word insufficiency was used. Let me ask a question. Have you ever opened your email, expecting good news, only to see instead a message from your bank stating, “Your account has insufficient funds”? If you have, then it becomes clear that you did not have enough money in the bank to make the purchases. The same is true when thinking of the subject of mental health. There must be a balance between what is being spent, and what is being replaced. This requires each purposely be aware of what is going on in the lives of our friends and family. Are there signs that their emotional reserves are running low?

Recently, I was driving my car when I noticed it was shaking, and making noise. On several occasions I checked the tire pressure, and added air to them. At first this seemed to work, but the next time I drove my car the same thing would happen. This went on until I decided to inspect each tire. I checked the first one, but couldn’t detect anything. Then I checked the second one, but still found nothing. When I got to the third one, it was different. There was a place that was bulging slightly, and I could feel the wires protruding from the hole that had resulted. It was only after this discovery that I realized how serious it was.

By now you may be asking, “What does a defective tire have to do with men’s mental health?” Well, please allow me to explain. Just as I overlooked what I was hearing in the beginning, too often the mental health of the males in our families is overlooked. It was not until I inspected the tires individually, that I noticed the pressure had affected the stability of the tire. It is the same with men. Let’s begin check our family and friends to see how they are doing. If a tire has too much air pressure we check it with the tire air pressure gauge. Then we purposely take measures to decrease the pressure. It is released by the tire’s valve stem. In order to decrease the mental pressure in people there has to be a release valve. But the question is how? How? How do we start the process?

In order to start the process we have to know the symptoms. In the example with my tire, I noticed it caused my ride to be noisy and bumpy. What are the symptoms that a loved one may be having a mental health issue?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), some symptoms may be manifested in the following ways:

•Anger, irritability, or aggressiveness

•Significant changes in the person’s mood, energy, and appetite

•Changes in sleep: increased or decreased sleep

•Difficulty concentrating

•Restlessness

•Increased worry

•Stress

•Alcohol/drug consumption increases

•Feelings of sadness/hopelessness

•Impulsive/compulsive behavior

•Behavior of loved one affects work, family, or social life.

•Thoughts of death, or suicide attempts

Take a careful look at the list above. I would like you to ponder this question. Is there someone in sphere of your influence who has, or is displaying any of the symptoms listed above? It could be your father, brother, cousin, friend, or an acquaintance. I just want you to think back for a moment. What have you noticed about him? Has he recently withdrawn from all, or most social activities? When did you last see him? Was the conversation positive, or did the person seem despondent?